Eye before whatever, except after sometimes

My brain lacks the circuits and neurotransmitters necessary to make spelling English words as easy for me as it seems to be for others. Plus, I was an early guinea pig* for the failed educational experiment called phonetic spelling. In higher grades, like fifth grade, the professional educators in my life tried to correct the error by shifting to a rule-based pedagogical modality.

The rule “I before E except after C” was something I could get my head around, so thereafter for a long time I applied the rule ruthlessly, with sometimes weird results.

This morning I ran across the word “weinie” in print, and I figure it has to be a mistake. Great post on the weinie

A few minutes Google research teaches me that weinie, wienie, weeney, weenie, and weeny are each acceptable spellings for the word, even if a few spell checkers are behind the curve. I shall not delve into the word’s various quite different meanings and connotations.

Naturally, my first impulse was to spell it “weenee”, illustrating one of the many soft spots in the phonetic spelling method.

* Guinea Pig:

“Guinea Pigs are small, furry animals originally from South America and are very large rodents. In the wild they move around in groups and eat grass but most Guinea Pigs are pets.”

Wiki for Kids

Guinea pigs are not from Guinea nor are they pigs. Mostly, however, I’m curious to see how Google deals with the statistical improbability of the prose in this post.

Prestonwood Baptist Church site scrub

The official news out of Bryan, Texas today is that Joe Barron, an assistant minister at Prestonwood Baptist Church, was arrested in an Internet child sex police sting operation.

“Undercover officers posing as a 13-year-old girl communicated with 52-year-old Joe Barron of Plano for about two weeks. The online conversations were sexual in nature, police said. On May 6, Barron suggested meeting the girl in person. He eventually made the nearly 200-mile drive to Bryan on Thursday, when he was arrested. Police said they found a web-cam and condoms in his car.” Houston Chronicle

The unofficial news is that by this afternoon Joe Barron never existed, going by the Prestonwood Baptist Church web site. The site’s “Leadership and Staff” links are re-directed, entire pages are gone, and Joe Barron’s name has been removed everywhere.

The original unaltered versions of the web pages are presently still available as Google cached pages, but as far as the church is concerned, it’s “Joe who? Never heard of him.”

Christian love at work. Quick and ruthless.

The American Highlands

Several observers have noticed that Sen. Barack Obama has not done well in the Appalachian parts of primary states, and many predict that he will not do well in the May 13 West Virginia Democratic primary or the May 20 Kentucky primary. Huffington Post - Obama In Kentucky And West Virginia: Why Will He Lose?

The common wisdom is that these results, both past and future, are the result of racism. But this conclusion is a gross overly-simplified fiction based upon an unwarranted sense of moral superiority by those making the observations. Sheer ignorance plays a large part too, but that is excusable. American Highlanders are not easy to get close to, and that’s the way they like it.

In the TV mini-series Lonesome Dove, the Robert Duvall character stated, “I’m not one to give up on a garment just because its starting to show its age.”

If you want to understand American Highlanders, that statement is a good place to start.

The best test of quality is the test of time, and “this year’s fashion” is a worthless concept. Obama’s problem is not that he is black, it is that he is new and untested. If you want to understand American Highlanders, think Scottish. Think about the movies Braveheart, Kidnapped, or Rob Roy, and you will have a clue about the hill people.

American Highlanders have no problem with Sen. Barack Obama that twenty years will not solve.

Fast flip-pages

It’s tough to use the phrase “low tech” in connection to anything related to the Internet, but pure single-source html + css web pages might qualify.  A series of these small (800px by 600px, > 10kb each) linked pages is my preferred method of chunking information.  I find it ideally suited for tutorials, and if I understand Google Page Rank correctly, there may be SEO advantages.

For an example, see my VistaPrint business card editor tutorial.

Welcoming stupid questions

A few decades ago when a former spouse and I were in the computer retail business, we sold clone PCs that we assembled in a back room.  We did what Dell did, except we didn’t get rich doing it.  What we sold was attractive because it was inexpensive, but our no-name product didn’t always inspire a lot of confidence.  I took quite a few customer service calls that went like this:

Customer: “I bought this computer from you yesterday and it doesn’t work.  It will not turn on.  We set it up just like you told us”

Me: “We test every system very thoroughly before it leaved the store.  We burn it in for 48 hours minimum, to be sure everything is working.”

Customer: “We set it up just like you told us, and it doesn’t work.”

Me: “Would you like me to come over to your house and take a look at it?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “OK, fine.  But before I do that, there are a few simple things I need to check before I come over.”

Customer: “Sure.”

Me: “The first thing is to check the power cord.  You know that it is not permanently connected to your computer.  One end plugs into the wall, and the other end plugs into the back of your system box.  And don’t forget, there are TWO power cords.  One to the TV-looking thing, your display monitor, and a SECOND power cord to your system box.”

Customer: “I’m sure I plugged it it.”

Me. “I don’t doubt that you did.  But you see, sometimes you have to push really hard when installing the SECOND power cord to the system unit, to make a good electrical connection.  I’d like you to disconnect that SECOND power cord from the back of your system box and re-insert it very firmly, please.  I’ll hold while you do this.  Thank you.”

Customer: “Well, OK.  I guess I can do that. Hold on for a minute.”

(crickets chirping)

Customer: “Son of a gun!  That’s it.  The power cord was loose.  Thanks for your time.”

Me: “You’re quite welcome.  Enjoy your computer.  If you have any questions, give us a call.”

I have no doubt that this customer had never seen an electrical power cord that didn’t have one end already permanently connected to an appliance.  Nor did he have any experience with a multi-component system that used two separate power cords.

The first time I got one of these calls, it scared the hell out of me.  Then we toook extra pains to be sure the customer understood what to expect when they picked up a new system.  When we were really busy, doing that was time well spent.  When business was slow, however, I sometimes skipped the detailed explanation and waited for the telephone call that began, “This piece of crap doesn’t work.”

Me: “I’ll be happy to drop everything I’m doing, jump into my car, and come over to your place right now.  But, let’s check this one little thing first . . . . “

I enjoyed those calls.  I knew the answer and I never had to drop everything and jump into my car.